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In the quest for satisfying sexual experiences, whether in a new relationship or a longstanding one, the desire for pleasure is universal. Nowadays, couples are more open to exploring different ways to enhance their intimacy, and sex toys have emerged as a popular option to achieve that. Incorporating sex toys into your bedroom adventures can be an exciting and pleasurable addition, fostering a stronger bond between partners. As the saying goes, “the couple that plays together, stays together.” However, some women might encounter a minor hurdle when their boyfriends aren’t initially open to the idea of using sex toys together.

Understanding your partner’s reservations about sex toys can indeed be challenging. The idea of a partner comparing himself to a vibrant pink, oversized, vibrating phallic object might strike as peculiar or uncomfortable. However, it’s crucial to trust that with time and open communication, he will come to appreciate the unique pleasures and enhanced experiences that sex toys can bring to your relationship.

For many men, the perception of sex toys as mere “toys” might be misleading. They might view these objects as an unattainable benchmark, capable of performing feats beyond human ability. Reflecting on this perspective, one cannot deny the truth in it. Sex toys can provide heightened pleasure in less time than a man ever could, making it understandable why your boyfriend might initially feel intimidated by this “new friend” in the bedroom. However, there’s a way to approach the topic and convince him to embrace the idea of using sex toys together.

1. Science of Pleasure

First of all, using sex toys is backed by science. The excitement brought about by incorporating sex toys in your play stimulates the production of “dopamine,” which plays a significant role for your pleasure.  Secondly, if you don’t already know, a vast majority of women don’t come on vaginal penetration alone. They need some form of clitoral stimulation to reach climax.

While yes, having your partner use their fingers or other body parts to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse is a possibility, sex toys are just more convenient and it allows your partner to focus. Having an orgasm produces oxytocin – also known as the ‘bonding’ hormone – which increases the potential of a lasting relationship.

Oxytocin has the long term effect of making people feel closer to and more supportive of their partner. So whether or not your partner elicits an orgasm from you using solely their body or by getting a little help from a sex toy is irrelevant, as long as they contributed to that mind-blowing O.

2. Promote Penile Health and Sexual Satisfaction

Research has found that men who regularly use vibrators (on themselves, on their partners, or both) score higher on measures of erectile function, orgasm function, sexual desire, and sexual satisfaction than men who have rarely or never reached for a vibrator. A huge reason as to why men are less likely to be open to introducing sex toys to the bedroom is because they are unfamiliar with them. Introduce them to your favourite toy and demonstrate how much pleasure you get from it and they just might warm up to the idea. Even better? Get him a toy of his own that he can play and experiment with.

3. Cultivate a Stronger Connection in Your Relationship

Sex therapists believe that using sex toys can help improve the relationship. If you’re open and respectful of your partner’s desires and boundaries, using sex toys can heighten sexual satisfaction. It enhances communication between people in a relationship as a sense of openness and non-judgment is cultivated. Using sex toys requires expressing thoughts and feelings clearly.  With this, you’re learning more about each other and how to deal with each other’s emotions and concerns.