Sep 21, 2023
Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q) About How to Choose Your First Adult Toy
by DLS Team

1. I’m intimidated by the idea of a sex toy—how can I become more comfortable with the concept?
Do you find yourself feeling a bit intimidated by the idea of incorporating sex toys into your life? It’s important to understand that your feelings are not only valid but also valuable. Sex toys are simply tools designed to enhance pleasure and intimacy, and they can be a fun addition to your personal journey of self-discovery.
To become more comfortable with the concept, consider educating yourself about both the products and your own desires. When it comes to sexual satisfaction, what truly matters is understanding and enjoying your body, as well as fostering positive relationships with yourself and your partners. Sex toys can be valuable allies on this pleasure-filled path if you choose to embrace them. Instead of associating them with embarrassment, try thinking of sex toys as tools that can help you explore self-pleasure, self-exploration, and pure fun!
2. Is Seeking intimacy with ourselves is totally healthy and natural?
Is it perfectly normal and healthy to seek intimacy with ourselves? Absolutely! The use of sex toys is not limited to a particular age group or only for those who feel unsatisfied. In reality, sex toys can enhance the sexual experience at all levels and signify a willingness to explore new sensations.
Self-intimacy is a natural and essential aspect of human sexuality. Sex toys simply provide another avenue to connect with our bodies and minds, allowing us to fully embrace and enjoy our sensual moments. So, remember, there’s nothing unnatural or taboo about seeking pleasure and connection with yourself.
3. What should I consider when choosing my first sex toy?
Selecting your first sex toy can feel overwhelming, given the vast array of options available. However, this variety is actually a good thing, as it encourages you to explore your unique tastes, desires, preferences, and personality to find the perfect toy for you. Whether you’re browsing online or in-store, pay attention to the toys that pique your curiosity and make you feel comfortable.
Quality is paramount when acquiring any erotic item. Before making a purchase, be sure to check the toy’s description and ensure that it meets current regulatory standards. Safe and frequently preferred materials include silicone, glass, and metals like stainless steel, titanium, or even gold and silver (just be cautious of nickel). Hypoallergenic materials are a great starting point, with some even offering the added benefit of temperature play. On the other hand, it’s best to avoid materials like rubber, latex, or jelly due to their unhygienic nature and potential for allergic reactions.
Remember to explore brand, store, and user-product reviews to gain insight into the quality, sensation, and intensity of the toy. For beginners, vibrators or suction-technology toys are often recommended, as they offer excellent clitoral stimulation and can be used to provide pleasurable sensations all over the body.
4. Is there a toy to suit every individual’s specific needs?
Absolutely! The world of sex toys is diverse and offers something for everyone’s unique desires and preferences. While personal taste plays a significant role, reading reviews from brands, stores, and other users can help you make an informed decision about a product’s quality, sensation, and more.
For many women, starting with vibrators or suction-technology toys is a great choice, as they provide intense clitoral stimulation and can also be used for pleasurable sensations across the entire body. Just remember to maintain proper hygiene by washing your toy with warm water and neutral soap before and after use.
5. Do I need different toys for partner play and self-pleasure?
Picture this: you and your partner, exploring new realms of pleasure together. The truth is, you don’t necessarily need separate toys for partner play and solo adventures. The key is finding something that aligns with your desires and preferred forms of stimulation.
Sex toys are versatile and can be enjoyed alone or with a partner, and they can bring excitement and intimacy into your relationship. But here’s the golden rule: always have an open conversation with your partner before introducing anything new to the bedroom. Consent and respect are just as important with sex toys.
6. Will a sex toy make it easier or orgasm, or will it make my orgasms better?
Ladies, if you’re wondering whether a sex toy can ramp up your orgasms, the answer is a resounding yes! These devices provide direct and powerful stimulation, often focusing on the clitoris. Some women experience quicker orgasms, multiple climaxes, or entirely new sensations. So, it’s not about better or worse; it’s about embracing something different and exciting.
Exploring pleasure in new ways helps you connect with your body and sexuality on deeper levels. Whether you’re using a toy or not, the key is to relax, engage with your desires, and let your sensations guide you.
7. What kind of sex toys do you recommend beginners start with?
Start by choosing toys that makes you feel comfortable to you, whether they pique your curiosity, seem practical, or are simply beautiful. It’s all about embracing the experience and discovering what enhances your sensuality.
Vibrators are fantastic starter options. They can be used externally, on the clitoris, or internally during penetrative play. Plus, they come in various shapes and sizes. Also don’t forget: lube can be a great sex toy, too! Some personal lubricants offer warming, cooling, and even tingling sensations, and lend excellent stimulation if you’re just beginning to test the sex toy waters.
8. What if I don’t want a toy that focuses on my genitals—what do you recommend?
If genital-focused toys aren’t your thing, there are plenty of alternatives to stimulate other areas of your body. Think essential oils, lubricants, and non-phallic external massagers. These massagers offer various levels of intensity ranging from gentle tickles to intense, pulsating motions. It can be highly erotic to use massager toys to explore your erogenous zones in different environments too like during shower or in bed. Since these toys are often quite small, exploring areas such as the neck, nipples, breasts and groin can be equal parts arousing and comfortable, too.
You can also experiment with materials like feathers or silk to stimulate your skin and awaken your senses. Ultimately, it’s about finding what makes you feel comfortable, sensual, and exhilarated.
9. Should I use personal lubricant when using a sex toy? What kinds of lube are best for different toys and materials?
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Lubricants are your friends, whether you’re exploring internally or externally with sex toys. But here’s the catch: make sure your lube matches your toy’s material. Silicone toys pair best with water-based lubes. Avoid using silicone lube with silicone toys to prevent damage. And if you’re using a condom with a silicone toy, ensure it’s not lubricated or that the lubricant is water-based.
Cleanliness is key, so wash your toys before and after play with neutral soap and water to maintain a healthy environment.
10. How can I introduce bringing a sex toy into the bedroom, if it’s something my partner and I have never tried?
Bringing up the topic of sex toys with your partner doesn’t have to be daunting. Start the conversation in a relaxed setting to encourage open communication. Explain your desire to explore new aspects of your sensuality, both individually and as a couple, and share why sex toys intrigue you. Involve your partner in the process by offering to show them the toys you’re considering and explaining why they appeal to you. You could also ask them if there are any specific toys they’d like to try, either on you, as a couple, or on their own.
Involve your partner by showing them the toys you’re considering and ask if they have any preferences. Shopping for toys together can boost desire and create a fun bonding experience to increase your mutual desire and libido. If your partner perceives this conversation as an insult or threat, offer to come back to the topic at a later time when they feel more ready to listen and are more open to discussing your reasons for wanting to engage with a toy. Approaching the conversation with openness, patience and understanding is the best way to ensure effective, collective communication.
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